Can a Marriage Survive an Affair?

Affairs are one of the most difficult things that a marriage can encounter. When affairs and other forms of infidelity are either disclosed or discovered, this starts a couple down a long journey. This journey has destruction in it, that they could have never imagined prior to experiencing the pain of an affair. 

Society has glamorized affairs. We hear it in music and sing along.  We see it on television and the destruction doesn't seem so bad. We even see things turn around and the couple work things out, all in one episode, Wow. Rarely are we given the inside picture of the devastation that infidelity has on a marriage, and the personal destruction that happens. So to address the question that is being asked: 

Can a marriage heal after an affair? 

Unfortunately, due to the damage done there is no guarantee that a relationship can recover. This is not the fault of the person hurt by the affair. This is not a quitting or giving up on the relationship, it is natural considering the amount of damage done to the person. The root problem with affairs and infidelity is that in every primary relationship,  two questions need to be answered to feel safe in the relationship:

Are you going to be there for me? And do you care? 

In an affair these questions have been answered with a resounding NO! Even if that is not the intent, even if the person never meant for their partner to get hurt, it is difficult (or impossible) for the partner who is the victim in an affair to  hear an answer other than NO to these questions. 

There may be reasons that an affair has happened, there may be problems in the relationship. However, this is not the starting point in healing from an affair. 

First, trust needs to be rebuilt.  This is hard intentional work and a process. But there is hope! Both partners can again be able to answer YES! 

Once that trust is repaired, the relationship can be built again. Some couples can feel stronger and more connected after the hard work of building trust than they did prior to the affair. It is important to know this is a long journey back to relationship safety.  Finding someone who knows the process, someone who can help avoid the common pitfalls, and eventually work with the issues in the relationship can speed the process up. 

I know this is a hard journey, I have walked with many couples through this process. I would love to work with you, helping you find your way through this dark time. As couples do the hard work I can help with the process. As each partner is going through their own incredibly hard journey, having a guide can bring this journey back together. 

Try a session risk free. If you feel like I am not the right fit for you, or I am unable to help. Whatever the reason, after the first session if you feel like you need a refund I would be glad to give a refund. You don’t need to walk through this hard journey alone!