3 ways a stressful relationship is impacting your mental health
Everyone wants to be in a healthy relationship. No one enters a relationship wanting disaster, chaos, and constant fighting. Yet, we see all too often that relationships can become very stressful. Now that mental health is being discussed more and taken seriously. There is a critical question to ask. Does being in a negative relationship impact your mental health? The short answer is... Yes, it does! Here I explore 3 ways a negative relationship affects your mental health.
Stressful relationships increase your anxiety!
When relationships get complicated, we get more and more moments that "don't feel good" in a relationship. The more moments that "don't feel good," we look to find ways to avoid the "not good" feelings. We start to forecast our partner's behaviours. We stay vigilant about the energy in the room, what our partner is doing, and what they are not doing. We become very watchful, alert, cautious and looking to avoid the next moment that may create that bad feeling in us. This alertness and watchfulness are trying to help us, but this watchfulness raises our anxiety. This becomes constant stress that drains our emotional energy, which removes our ability to respond positively to our partner. Creating a negative feedback loop. We then start the cycle all over again.
2. Stressful relationships impact our mood.
Relationships that are in distress impact our mood not only when we engage in the relationship. They impact us everywhere. They influence our mood and ability to respond affectionately to our children when we are parenting. It affects our ability to focus on our work. It even impacts our ability to take care of ourselves, i.e. eating healthy, exercising, and doing activities we enjoy. In short, a stressful relationship negatively impacts every corner of our life. It makes work harder, parenting harder, and even doing things we enjoy more complex. This creates a slippery slope where everything in life can feel like it is going downhill fast.
3. A stressful relationship increases our dependency on negative coping strategies.
Because of the "bad feelings" and slippery slope that a stressful relationship can bring, it can also become a foothold for negative coping strategies to take root. Because taking care of ourselves positively can feel difficult in a stressful relationship, humanity often looks for shortcuts. This is common, we look for quick fixes when things are hard. Some people go shopping, and some to their phones, videogames, tictok, eating. Others may go to alcohol, drugs, or infidelity to help deal with these hard feelings. Everyone has something they turn towards when they are feeling bad! Although these things feel good in the moment, all of these create long-term complications that may significantly impact us in the future. Although these negative coping strategies are attempting to help us feel better, they are short-term gain and long-term loss approaches to the situation.
The good news; a negative relationship does not mean it needs to stay that way. The most vital positive coping strategy that helps buffer anxiety, depression, stress, and physical as well as emotional pain is being in a healthy, strong relationship where we feel connected to our partner. Where we can clearly communicate what we feel with our partner, and our partner can hear what we say. This type of relationship is the most crucial aspect of our mental health.
I know it may feel like your current relationship may feel like that is an impossibility. Still, I want to work with you on the journey of turning your current relationship from a relationship that drains your mental health, moving towards a relationship that helps build and protect your mental health. Couples counselling provides excellent results in helping change this very dynamic of your relationship.
Work with me; we can see if we can turn your relationship into a strength!
